we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
