I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize