You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
