the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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