Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
