i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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