He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
