i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
