Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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