I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
