I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
