then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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