the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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