Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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