i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize