I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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