Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
