Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
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There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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