When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize