Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
