I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
