dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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