I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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