I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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