The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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