dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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