There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
