It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
