I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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