whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
