guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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