My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize