just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
