So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
