when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
