is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
