ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
