wanna go halves on a baby?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
