You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize