He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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