she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
