You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
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slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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