dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
