wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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