I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
