So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize