i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the day after is always just damage control
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Randomize
