youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
