dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life