Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.