Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.