that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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