Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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