Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
