jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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