I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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