i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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