Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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